Their relationship was on the brink of disaster…
Karen was always angry at Michael because she saw him as continually trying to control their relationship. She believed that they could not stay together as she felt she was not being heard by him because of his controlling behaviour.
They agreed to make one last attempt to save their relationship and came to me for couples counselling. They had been a couple for about 5 years and had bought a house together.
Karen’s previous experience with controlling people left its mark
After several sessions Karen was shocked to discover that as a child she had always allowed herself to be manipulated by her friends and at a very early stage in her life had allowed people to control her.
As we worked together over a few months Karen started to realize that she attracted these controlling people to re-enforce her belief systems about herself. The moment of realization was very powerful for her becasue she now had a reason that felt right to her as to why she was suffering depression and anxiety as a result of continually feeling controlled.
Counselling helped Karen to take back control of her own life
This realisation allowed Karen to step back into her power, allowing her to take control of her own life again and freeing her of the belief that Michael was trying to control her all the time.
Karen and Michael participated in some sessions together and were able to develop an understanding of how the other person felt hurt by the situation they had created for themselves.
Karen’s and Michael’s next steps
At this point both of them are working in a similar direction and are setting clear goals to achieve together as a couple.